May 21 2012
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familial importance, family, old age, self awareness

Kay Learned.

I’m sure the first thing that you thought when you read the title of this entry was something along the lines of “What in the name of all things grammatical is with this horrible sentence?”, right?

First, it’s a name, not a sentence. If it was a sentence I would say that Kay, learns a lot. Because, well, she’s smart and shit.

Second, it’s not Lurned, it’s Lurn-ed.

Growing up, I never had a lot of friends.

Luckily, I did have once-removed (for lack of a better phrase) relatives living a block away from me who had kids of their own who were around the same age that I was. Specifically, my cousin Kay.

For a large part of my childhood, Kay and her family was the only social influence outside of my own family that I had. It’s a bit frightening to put in terms like that but it’s the truth.

Without getting entirely too sappy, I’d like to share one of my favorite Kay/Matt memories. This was the time that I introduced Kay to the benefits of drinking wine.

This was close to 10 years ago. We were going to college together and it was winter time. This was one of those winters that we used to have where the skies would open up and drop a metric fuck-ton of snow on the ground.

On this particular day, Kay and I had rather easy classes that we didn’t always have to show up for, so one of us (probably me because I always had the knack for coming up with hair-brained ideas) suggested that we cut for that day and go sled riding.

It was a capital idea as it had recently snowed. However it was particularly cold that day and it would only be a truly capital idea if we got a snoot-full of wine in us before we went and engaged in sled riding antics.

At this point, Kay (to my knowledge) had not truly imbibed wine. I’m sure she may have had a glass or two prior to this day but drinking wine on it’s own was something that just never came up for her.

So we get our snoot-full in us and head down to Little Met, a rather popular sledding/skiing area in our neighborhood.

For some reason, we only had one sled between us. I didn’t see this as a problem for two reasons:
1. I was drunk.
2. I had cardboard. (At the time, I had overheard a conversation in which coworkers of mine had done something a long the lines of what we were doing and they had used a broken down cardboard box).

We get to the top of the main hill and I was to be the one to go first. So I take a few paces back from the starting point to get a running start. Keep in mind, my “cardboard sled” wasn’t treated with anything. There weren’t any waxy surfaces. It was truly, porous cardboard and this was relatively fresh snow.

With a drunken yawp, I start running. Once I get to where Kay is standing, I frog hop into the whiteness and adrenaline rush of shooting down hill that surely waits for me.

It was midair when I realize something: I never heard the end of my coworker’s conversation.

Splat! I landed half a foot from where I leaped. It was hilarious!

After I got over the initial shock of belly flopping on frozen ground (and after a quick rib-check to make sure that nothing was damaged too terribly) we surmised that sled sharing was in order.

By far it was one of the best days that I had during my 20′s.

So what are the lessons learned/possible point of this post?

1. I am not the smart one.
2. Wine is good.
3. Cardboard does not make for a good improvised sled. Ever.

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May 18 2012
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being a dumb ass, dry run, family, manly-ness

The Final Raymond K. Hessel, Run for the Vessel Challenege

It’s coming.

The Final Raymond K. Hessel Run for the Vessel Challenge. Fall 2012.

Image

VS.

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“Final”? Indeed. It was agreed upon between both participants that this should be the last race. There are a number of reasons for this. None of them are worth mentioning here.

Life gets in the way, that’s all.

Due to an egregious error on Matt’s behalf, the second race was an apparent forfeit to Jeff. Video of which, has been taken and will be uploaded to the internets when editing is complete. 

The final race, fall 2012? Video, VIDEO, of the second race?? You dig it? 

I knew that you would.

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May 16 2012
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old age, self awareness, writing

What I have learned from watching True Blood, thus far.

 While I am sure that I may end up loosing some “man-cred” by admitting that I watch a soap  opera-ish show like this, rest assured I do have a bit of a point. 

A bit of back story: My better-half, sadly, got hooked on the whole “vampire story” phenomenon via Twilight. Like most gateway drugs, Twilight led to Vampire Diaries which in turn led to a lot of forgettable television shows and books.

At any rate, like the good man that I am I picked up True Blood for her from the library. 

After watching the first season of the show I have learned a couple of things. 

  1. Vampires like to fornicate. A lot apparently
  2. Rogue has perky boobs.

While the boobs and the rampant sexual intercourse may have clinched viewer-ship from most males, that didn’t do it for me.

What made me a viewer of this show was one Mr. William Sanderson.

Also known as Larry.

Additionally, what I have learned, or rather re-learned is that some of the best writing happens when an old idea (e.g. the vampire story) is re-imagined and presented through a different light. This idea is galvanized by the fact that this show is not just a straight up vampire story (without giving too much away the show is essentially a mash-up of a lot of different genre-based story ideas)

While this may not be a new idea to most, it is still an idea that bears repeating. 

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May 08 2012
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familial importance, family, writing

I truly had something new happen to me today.

Someone came up to me and complimented me on something that I had written. Totally out of the blue! For once I can use the phrase “I didn’t know whether to shit, or go blind”  and really mean it.

Towards the end of April, I wrote this thing called An open letter to the CH-UH city school district on bullying. I know, worst title ever. But the Heights Observer liked it enough to publish it on their web site and they sent it out in the email updates that they send to people who regularly read the Heights Observer.

So today, my son’s teacher was walking her class out at the end of the day and she waved me over. First thing I thought was ”I’m in trouble”. She told me that she (as well as some of her peers) liked what I had to say but what happened to myself and my daughter was just a small part of a larger problem and that I should take it to the next level (e.g. pitch it to the Sun News or even the PD).

Moral of this anecdote? My writing is awesome! (and) Taking a direct action when confronted with a problem regardless of the problem and the scope of the situation will always be the right thing to do. Ignorance IS NOT bliss. 

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May 05 2012
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baby steps, music, self awareness, technology, things you may not care about, usefullness

The future of music.

As indicated by my previous post, I have been wondering for some time about why we subscribe to doing things the conventional way.

Example: creative types have a shit load of hoops to jump through if they want to “make it”.

Specifically, if I were to try and make an honest living out of being a freelance writer, I would have to have a metric fuck ton of quality clips (clips are to writers what demo tapes are to musicians), I would have to be selling (read, “whoring”) myself every chance that I got and I would have to be pitching article ideas to editors on a regular basis even though the general turn around time for an editor to get back to you is one month at the least.

Then there is Amanda Palmer.

For the past three months or so, she has been working on recording her new album, with her new band in Australia. What makes her different from other artists is that she isn’t on a record label. Recording an album is all well and good but when it comes to finalizing, manufacturing, distribution, and promotion, record labels foot the bill for that shit.

Ms. Palmer hasn’t been on a record label for years. After a gigantic fiasco with her record label, she decided to become, for lack of a better term, a free agent. Opting instead to build her fan base with the help of the internets. Any music that she has released has been through her own means.

For this album that she has just finished she started a kickstarter platform.

In one night she completely met her goal.

I am truly in awe of this. Sure there are naysayers who condemn this as online panhandling but these naysayers are also the same people who don’t understand what guts it takes to create something of your own and then send it out into the world.

I backed her. Will you?

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May 03 2012
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baby steps, eReader, old age, self awareness, things you may not care about, writing

HEY LOOK! A BRAND NEW SURVEY!

E-books strike me as horribly dull.

Yes, it’s great that we have the technology that is advancing us one step closer to a “paperless” society. However, there’s very little difference between a tangible book and an e-book other than the tactile experience. Personally, I’d take a physical book over an e-book any day.

Weighing the pros and cons of e-books vs. real books is usually as fruitful as weighing the pros and cons of mp3s vs. whatevermediumgetsyouoff.

Regardless, I’m still testing the waters. If you would please do me the honor of filling out this survey I would be incredibly grateful.

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Apr 30 2012
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manly-ness, old age, self awareness, writing

A quick hat-tip.

Just a bit more on Fugue. After this post, I promise I’ll stop talking about it until it’s done.

One of the first things that I did when I got fired from Target (other than looking for a job on a daily basis…) was familiarize myself with this new web site everyone was talking about.

It was Facebook.

It’s kind of odd to think that the current social phenomenon only really started to blow up less than five years ago.

Like most people, I friended everyone that I could think of. People I hadn’t thought about in over 20 years, I am now “friends” with. Even though that doesn’t really mean much more than we window shop on each other’s lives, gazing at the really interesting stuff and ignoring the things that we don’t understand.

One of the people that “friended” me after I initially drank the kool-aid was a man by the name of Travis Plank.

Travis was my best friend throughout high school and most of college. Friendships and plants are very similar: Sometimes they grow and last a long ass time, sometimes they wither and need to be replanted.

This was one of the ones that needed to be replanted.

After the initial catching up period, I learned that Travis was playing in a new band. The thing that interested me about this was that each member of the band had characters. As in, alter egos.

They weren’t that developed, they were more like skin without the skeleton. But the skins that Travis and his bandmates were occupying were interesting to say the least.

With his blessing, I co-opted his characters and Fugue was created.

And with that, I tip my hat to Mr. Plank.

Addendum: people may wrinkle their nose at the idea of someone writing a book around someone else’s characters or someone else’s idea. I initially had my trepidations about it as well. But if there is one thing that I have remembered from the only creative writing class I have ever taken it’s this: it’s impossible to write something truly original, something that’s never been ‘said’.

But I can guarantee you this: Fugue will be like nothing you’ve ever read.

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Apr 29 2012
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being a dumb ass, music, writing

Fugue.

In the month of April, I set out on the task to write a story.

For all intents and purposes, I consider this my first story. Yes, I’ve written “stories” before. Most of them we o.k. A lot of them were just shit.

I often fall prey to writing something out of my system in story form only to have the “final” product be completely bloated with the wrong type of energy (namely the “my mommy never loved me”, “why in the fuck are you such a slob/can’t you see how miserable you are to live with?” variety).

End result? Most of those will never see the light of day. If they are released into the wild, they are only fragments of what they really were. I digress…

So, in April, I wrote my first story. A script actually. As I have made mention before, I participated in Script Frenzy. Originally, I intended for the script to be a graphic novel that I would eventually self publish. Halfway through writing, I discovered that the software I planned on using did not support the graphic novel format.

This mean ‘bad-ish’ news in that my script is essentially a really weird outline for a novel.

The bottom line? By April of next year, I will be exploiting the current phenomenon of self publishing by self publishing my first novel, Fugue. 

Here’s to hoping it doesn’t suck!

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Apr 25 2012
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What I have been up to for the past month.

In the month of April, I participated in Script Frenzy, a nonprofit writing event that challenges writers to churn out 100 pages of a script of their choosing.
Last night was the first time that I had successfully competed in this event. I came out victorious. 
It’s not a contest in the traditional sense of the word. If I had to categorize it, I would say that it’s more like exercise for your brain.
Now, the only thing that remains is to do something with said script that I have created.
You can find out more about Script Frenzy by clicking here. 
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Apr 21 2012
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job loss, manly-ness, old age, self awareness

Regarding my absence over the past month.

I know, I’ve been bad by not posting here. I’ve been busy.

Over the past month, I have been participating in Script Frenzy as well as applying for every job that I think I’m capable of.

At the very least, I have learned a two very important lessons over the past couple of weeks.

This month I have learned…

…that writing stories is seriously hard work. Hemingway blowing his brains out? Fitzgerald (et. all) drinking themselves to death? Yeah, I understand all of that now. Regardless, I am not quitting. I intend to finish my script. There will be more on that here in the near future.

…that I really suck at writing cover letters. I have been of the understanding that the majority of the job hunting experience is dependent on the cover letter. The cover letter is essentially an individual whoring themselves to a prospective employer for the position that the employer is looking to fill.

I am not a whore. Nor have I ever been good at whoring myself.

I do however need legitimate work.

I know, the more cover letters I write, the more stories I write, the better I get at whoring and making things up.

Seems like a metaphor for life, doesn’t it?

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